The Highly Sensitive Ultrarunner
The first time I heard the phrase “highly sensitive person”, I was on a trail run with my friend Emily. She’s a social worker and a psychotherapist who works with highly sensitive people in the LGBTQ+ community in the San Francisco Bay Area. Emily is also a badass ultramarathon runner.
When Emily told me about her practice and the types of highly sensitive clients she sees for therapy, I experienced a mixture of emotions all at once. I had an immediate feeling of recognition and thought, “that sounds just like me”. I was also shocked that I had never heard the term before. Not only was I reflecting on my own character traits at that moment; I also recognized these patterns in many of the clients I had worked with over the past decade and a half as a psychotherapist. Until that day, I usually just called myself an introvert. But this was new territory. After my run with Emily that day, I went home and did some research to soak up as much information as I could about highly sensitive people.
Emily Pellegrino, LCSW and Dr. Amy Waldron, LMFT competed in the Lake Sonoma 50-mile race in 2023 in Healdsburg, California.
The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
The book The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You was published in 1995 by Dr. Elaine Aron. Elaine and her husband Dr. Arthur Aron are two of the leading scientists studying the psychology of love and close relationships. They’re also pioneers in studying sensitivity and love.
Am I Highly Sensitive?
From her website, here’s a sneak peak at a few items on the scale developed by Dr. Elaine Aron to assess for high sensitivity, or what she calls the Highly Sensitive Person:
I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.
Other people’s moods affect me.
I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.
I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics,or sirens close by.
I have a rich, complex inner life.
I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.
When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).
I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, and works of art.
When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.
The Highly Sensitive Person is not a disorder or a diagnosis. As I tell many of my clients, it’s a strength. Sometimes called sensory-processing sensitivity (SPS), this is a trait that’s found in 15-20 percent of the population. We can’t choose it or surgically remove it; high sensitivity is found in over 100 species and it’s innate. Our nervous systems are built differently. It’s evolved through generations of our ancestors because there is survival value: the art of observing before acting.
The Highly Sensitive Nervous System and Brain
The brain of an HSP engages in deeper processing and reflecting when it comes to new information, which means a deeper awareness of subtleties in the environment that others don’t notice (like that particular smattering of tree roots and rocks while on a trail run or a hike). This makes sense when I consider that many of the HSPs I know are artists, musicians, athletes, therapists, and deep thinkers. Ultrarunners, even.
A higher level of awareness of subtle cues in our environment and of other people comes with a cost, however. HSPs experience a deeper and more profound sense of overwhelm. It’s a trade off. Overstimulation can hit hard, rendering HSPs tapped out sooner than their friends who aren’t noticing or feeling quite as much in their environments.
HSPs tend to observe first, then take action. They might be the one at the party who is silently taking in the conversation before contributing to it. HSPs may have been called shy, quiet, socially anxious, introverted, inhibited, fearful, or neurotic for this reason, but these labels are usually based on a misunderstanding of the HSP. And not all HSPs are the same; 30 percent are extroverted, according to Dr. Aron.
But I’m an Ultrarunner
Sure, I was called “shy” as a child (which I resented) and I was taunted more than once for being “too sensitive”. I can deeply relate to the feeling of being overstimulated and overwhelmed by the world, and my score lands me squarely in the land of the HSPs. I wasn’t disappointed with this discovery. It undoubtedly contributes to my ability to connect with my clients in our therapy sessions, and probably adds to my tendency to notice subtleties that others aren’t yet able to see.
An early morning on the Appalachian Trail, during a hike in 2020 that spanned over 600 miles in 30 days.
But this sparked an argument in my mind. I run ultras; I’m training for a 100-mile race that includes mountain running through the night, carried forward only by the shaky glow of a headlamp and the sounds of the nocturnal animals I can’t quite see. Yes, I get overwhelmed by the slight itchiness of my running vest and the smell of sweat as another runner passes me on a single track. The blaring sounds of sirens and car alarms that float through the open window in my San Francisco office make me want to scream. But I seek out novelty and adventure! I love to travel and put myself in uncomfortable situations. I’d call myself a thrill seeker and a risk taker. Doesn’t this mean I’ve overcome this “sensitivity” I once had?
The High Sensation Seeker (HSS)
The answer is no, according to Dr. Aron. Sensitivity is not something to overcome, and she offers another term to better explain my inner dialogue: high sensation seeking (HSS) or high novelty seeking. And yes, there’s a subtype of people who are both highly sensitive and high sensation seekers (HSP/HSS)
The high sensation seeking assessment, which you can find on Dr. Aron’s website, includes items such as:
I would like to try a sport that creates a physical thrill, like skiing, rock climbing, or surfing.
I get restless if I stay home for long.
I don’t like waiting with nothing to do.
I enjoy the unfamiliar.
If I see something unusual, I will go out of my way to check it out.
I like to explore new areas.
I am drawn to art that gives me an intense experience.
I look forward to being in a place that is new and strange to me.
To me, if I am spending the money to travel, the more foreign the country, the better.
I would like to be an explorer.
Ahh, yes. This makes sense to me. Those who are both highly sensitive and sensation seekers, according to Dr. Aron, are:
Better able to attend to what’s going on around them, and will make the best of opportunities. Simply put, we are more aware and attentive of what’s going on in the environment and in our interactions with others.
When we sense an opportunity, we want to go out into the world immediately to get what we want or to explore. We have a higher sense of curiosity and competitiveness, and an eagerness to go out and get it.
This might sound like a kinder way to describe impulsivity and unnecessary risk taking. The HSS/HSP combo can easily be confused for someone who hastily and recklessly throws caution to the wind, but this type of person tends to find safe ways to take risks. Observational skills are high and impulsivity is low. We observe the terrain before barreling forward into the unknown.
If HSPs get overwhelmed easily, what does the Highly Sensitive - High Sensation Seeker need to look out for?
Those who are both a highly sensitive person (HSP) and a high sensation seeker (HSS) can feel like they are two people in a constant argument, according to Dr. Aron. It can feel like having one foot on the gas pedal and one foot on the brake. Which one dominates? Often it’s the sensation seeking side, since competitiveness, curiosity, and risk taking are more culturally desirable than the need to slow down to quietly reflect on the decision at hand. Someone with aspects of both HSP and HSS can get yanked into that inner argument repeatedly, like a bickering couple.
The solution, as is often the case, is acceptance and a little reframing. I often tell my clients that the best parts of us can be found on the flip side of the most challenging parts.
Things to Accept:
The HSP part isn’t just a buzzkill that’s worrying about safety, feeling indecisive and forcing us to take an introverted night in to think and recharge while all of our friends are out having fun. It’s strategizing and reflecting on the best path forward. It’s working to calm our nervous system. It’s processing, reflecting, finding novelty in our internal world, and satisfying our curiosity. It’s allowing us to refuel so we can get back out there.
The HSS part isn’t just trying to run us ragged by taking on too much, dragging us into new sports and adventures and travel destinations. It’s teaching us to face our fears and manage our sensitivity to scary things. It helps build our confidence and competence.
There may be some black-or-white thinking and shame about whichever side is present and visible to others at any given time. We can also feel dominated by one part or the other, or we might seem to flip-flop which can create confusion.
If the HSS part is dominant, what can feel like frantic levels of activity and novelty seeking can be used as a defense to NOT feel the painful feelings associated with the HSP part. This results in the HSP part getting worn out until we reach physical exhaustion or illness. Only then can the HSP part receive the rest and processing time it needs.
If the HSP part is dominant, however, we can struggle to get out of bed at all. What can feel like empty stretches of idle time or being withdrawn and disengaged can lead to panic symptoms or depression due to levels of stimulation that are far too low.
You’ll have to get creative to satisfy both the HSP and the HSS parts of yourself, which can seem to be at odds with one another or downright battling at times. With some practice, you can find a way for the parts to work together and even complement one another.
Neither part is better or worse than the other, and we certainly don’t want to hide these parts from ourselves or other people. They’re also not the only parts that make us who we are, they are just two parts. We each have many other unique strengths and qualities outside of the HSP/HSS combo.
Things to Grieve:
We can’t take on all of the adventures. FOMO (fear of missing out) will be painful. The HSP part needs some downtime to recharge.
We might always be on the edge of overstimulation. The HSS part needs fun, exploration, and novelty which can lead to overwhelm and a low social battery.
Dating might be difficult. Friendships can be challenging too as we navigate the battle between our HSS and HSP needs.
We’ll have to get creative to find a career and meaningful hobbies that will satisfy both parts of ourselves.
Sometimes we’ll have to be hard on ourselves with a firm NO even when we want to say yes, since sensation seeking tends to be more supported culturally.
For those who have experienced toxic stress or trauma during childhood and therefore tend to see the world as threatening, this hypervigilance will frustrate our sensation-seeking part, and alarm the sensitive part that is searching for peace, calm, and a sense of meaning. This will take some healing, but we can work on this.
Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?
If you’d like to try in-person therapy in San Francisco or online therapy in California to explore your tendencies as a highly sensitive person and/or a high sensation seeker, feel free to contact me.
