EMDR for highly sensitive people (HSPs)
High sensitivity is a trait, not a diagnosis or a disorder
Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), also referred to as having sensory processing sensitivity or environmental sensitivity, make up about 15 to 20 percent of the population. About 70 percent of HSPs are introverts, and many have been labeled at some point in their lives as “shy”.
Highly sensitive people, or HSPs, tend to have emotional depth and sensitivity to subtle shifts in the moods of others.
Sensitivity to the environment and to the moods of others is not synonymous with “shyness”. HSPs embody very distinct strengths: a depth in processing the richness of the world around them, emotional depth, a strong sense of intuition and empathy, and sensitivity to subtle shifts in the moods of others. This heightened awareness and depth allows HSPs to see the world as jewel-studded and filled with complexities, but with too much of anything, it can also lead to a sense of feeling overstimulated, drained, and stressed.
Just because you’re an HSP, it doesn’t mean you’ve experienced trauma. And not everyone who experiences trauma becomes an HSP. Research by Aron et al. and Liss et al. (2005) found that those who are highly sensitive are more vulnerable to depression, anxiety, and shyness if they had a difficult childhood. The researchers also found that HSPs can benefit more from therapy, even those with “big T traumas” or adverse life experiences.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy can be particularly helpful for highly sensitive people (HSPs). EMDR therapy helps process distressing memories and emotional overwhelm in a structured way so you can move through whatever it is that’s keeping you feeling stuck.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy can be particularly helpful for highly sensitive people (HSPs).
How Can EMDR Therapy be Helpful for HSPs?
EMDR Therapy Can Reduce Overwhelm from Past Trauma
HSPs often experience emotions more intensely, making them more susceptible to a sense of overwhelm and dysregulation if they’ve experienced trauma or difficult experiences from childhood. EMDR therapy can be used to help reprocess traumatic memories, so they no longer feel so emotionally charged or intrusive.
EMDR Therapy Can Decrease Emotional Reactivity
EMDR therapy can help desensitize cues from others that tend to cause strong emotional reactions. Have you ever felt like snapping or throwing something in response to a small gesture that no one else seems to have noticed? The D in EMDR stands for desensitization. This doesn’t mean it will erase your sensitivity. EMDR therapy can allow HSPs to react more calmly to situations that previously felt unbearable, so they can intentionally respond rather than feel yanked into reactivity mode.
EMDR Therapy Can Strengthen Emotional Resilience
By reprocessing and reframing difficult experiences from the past, HSPs can develop greater emotional resilience and self-confidence in their ability to handle future triggers and situations that might be keeping them up at night. EMDR can help shift negative self-beliefs like "I’m too sensitive" or "I can't handle it when people are disappointed in me" into perspectives that are more empowering.
EMDR Therapy Can Provide the Structure for a Safe, Gradual Healing Process to Unfold
EMDR therapy follows a structured approach that prioritizes safety, readiness, and stabilization through 8 distinct phases. This can be helpful for HSPs who might feel overwhelmed by traditional talk therapy. EMDR therapy doesn’t require a detailed re-telling of traumatic memories for it to be effective. EMDR therapists use grounding techniques to ensure sessions feel safe. If emotions become too overwhelming, the process can be adjusted, making it a gentle option for HSPs.
EMDR Therapy Can Enhance Nervous System Regulation
Many HSPs have a highly responsive nervous system that reacts strongly to stressors and triggers in the environment, including other people. EMDR therapy can help calm the nervous system, reducing symptoms like anxiety, hypervigilance, panic, and overstimulation. Difficult conversations are much easier with a calm, grounded nervous system. EMDR helps the nervous system relax, and can reduce anxiety, overthinking, and emotional exhaustion.
EMDR Therapy Can Help You Strengthen Your Relationships
Childhood trauma, especially emotional neglect or high levels of criticism, can make HSPs more prone to rejection sensitivity—a deep fear of disapproval, rejection, or abandonment. HSPs might struggle with setting boundaries. Some HSPs become people-pleasers and will avoid conflict at all costs. Unhealed trauma can lead to heightened attachment insecurities in adulthood, which can affect our romantic relationships. EMDR therapy can help reprocess difficult family dynamics, ruptures in past relationships, losses, and any other blocks that might be hindering you from developing or strengthening relationships with intimate partners, friends, and family.
EMDR therapy can help HSPs process trauma without feeling too overstimulated
How can HSPs Process Trauma without Feeling Overwhelmed and Overstimulated?
HSPs tend to feel emotions deeply, which can make traditional talk therapy feel exhausting. Attempting to provide a narrative description of traumatic memories – a re-telling and re-experiencing of painful interactions – can throw us into overstimulation and overwhelm. Working with an EMDR therapist with expertise in high sensitivity can allow for the reprocessing of traumatic memories in a way that doesn’t require re-living every detail. The focus is on reducing the emotional charge of memories rather than endlessly discussing them.
EMDR Can Reduce the Emotional Intensity of Triggers
While the word “trigger” is often associated with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it has also been used to describe reminders of painful experiences from the past. Sometimes referred to as “little T traumas” experiences such as being bullied by peers or feeling like an outsider can have a lasting impact. Any fragment of the memory, even a scent or a particular sound, can kick off a full-body experience of feeling like you’re becoming unglued. HSPs can be particularly sensitive to triggers and reminders of past trauma due to our sensitivity to subtleties in the environment. EMDR therapy helps desensitize these triggers so that past experiences don’t continue to cause so much distress.
EMDR Therapy Can Help Rewire Negative and Self- Limiting Beliefs
Trauma and difficult life experiences can make HSPs believe they are "too sensitive", "too weak", or "broken." Sometimes these messages come from family, peers, coaches, or non-HSPs. In their book Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much Word, Granneman and Sólo describe this attitude as “The Toughness Myth”. EMDR therapy can help reframe these beliefs into healthier, more empowering beliefs.
What is an EMDR Session Like for an HSP?
An EMDR session can feel different for everyone, but here’s a general idea of what to expect, especially as a highly sensitive person.
What It Feels Like During and After an EMDR Session
During: Some moments may feel intense, but many people describe a sense of "emotional movement" or "mental clearing."
After: You might feel lighter, calmer, or even temporarily exhausted as your brain continues processing. Over time, triggers lose their power, and emotions feel more balanced.
Preparing for Your First EMDR Session
Preparing for your first EMDR session as a highly sensitive person (HSP) can help you feel more grounded and in control. Since HSPs experience emotions deeply, a little preparation can make the process smoother. Here’s how you can get ready:
1. Choose the Right EMDR Therapist
It’s important to find an EMDR therapist who understands high sensitivity and trauma. I provide free 15-20 minute consultations so we can determine if we’re a good fit. This also gives you a chance to ask any questions you might have, and to let me know if you’d like to adjust the pacing of EMDR therapy to lower the risk of overwhelm and overstimulation.
2. Understand the Process
There are many articles, videos, and podcasts that can give you a better understanding of EMDR to ease any sense of uncertainty. Knowing that distressing emotions may come up but will pass can help you feel more at ease. Remember: You don’t have to relive every detail of your traumatic memories—EMDR’s adaptive information processing model allows your brain to process these memories naturally, much like your body’s process of healing a broken bone after an injury.
3. Bring Something That Will Help You Feel Comfortable
HSPs often feel more grounded and comfortable with a favorite object, like a soft sweater or scarf, a small stone or fidget item, or a soothing scent. These can help you stay centered.
4. Plan a Gentle Post-Session Routine
EMDR can be emotionally intense, and HSPs may need extra time to decompress. Immediately following your EMDR session, try not to plan anything that might be overstimulating or emotionally demanding, like an important work meeting or an overwhelming social event. Instead, try a quiet walk or a hike, gentle stretching or yoga, journaling, cooking a nourishing meal, or listening to your favorite music.
A walk or a gentle hike can be a good way to decompress after an EMDR session
During the EMDR Session
1. Communicate Your Needs
Let your therapist know if you need a slower pace or breaks. If you feel overwhelmed, you can pause at any time.
2. Focus on Body Awareness
HSPs often feel emotions physically, like tension or heaviness in their bodies. Pay attention to sensations, but remind yourself they are temporary.
3. Use Deep Breathing or Grounding Techniques
If you start feeling too emotional, return to slow, deep breathing. Ground yourself by pressing your feet into the floor or holding a small object.
After the EMDR Session
1. Allow Yourself to Rest
You might leave your EMDR therapy session feeling emotionally tired or even "spaced out." Give yourself permission to take it easy and follow through with the post-session routine you planned for yourself.
2. Process at Your Own Pace
Some HSPs feel relief after a few sessions, while others notice changes over time. Trust that your brain is still working through things even after the session ends. You’re not encouraged to do any additional processing or homework between sessions.
3. Be Gentle with Yourself
Sensitivity is a strength. EMDR is helping you harness it in a way that serves you rather than overwhelms you.
Dr. Amy Waldron offers EMDR therapy for HSPs, athletes, those with social anxiety, imposter syndrome, and overthinkers at her offices in San Francisco and Marin, California. EMDR therapy can also be provided virtually throughout California and North Carolina for those with trauma. We can even incorporate art therapy.
